Can Trauma Be Inherited? How Generational Wounds Shape Your Life and How To Heal

I received a really interesting question from our friend Kassia. Kassia wants to know whether trauma can pass down to the next generation and, if so, what can we do about it?

Let me ask you this first: have you ever felt like you’re carrying stuff that isn’t even yours? Like, patterns, fears, or a deep pain that doesn’t make sense, but somehow… it feels familiar?

Well, here’s the thing—sometimes, they aren’t ours. Trauma, stress, and even emotional wounds can actually be passed down through generations. And the more we learn about neuroscience and neuropsychology, the more we understand how to answer better those questions. Questions that, up to some years ago, we thought were only in our heads.

But let’s break this down. How does this even happen? What’s going on in our brains and bodies? And—most importantly—if it is being passed down… how do we stop it?

Part 1: The Science – Why Trauma Can Be Inherited

Alright, so first, let’s talk about genes and epigenetics. Genes are like the blueprint of your body—they contain the instructions for building everything, from your eye color to your brain chemistry. They’re made up of DNA and passed down from your parents. These instructions don’t really change (unless there’s a mutation).

Epigenetics, on the other hand, is like the software that controls how those genes get expressed. Think of it like a light switch—epigenetic markers can turn genes on or off based on environmental factors like stress, diet, trauma, or even early childhood experiences.

So while your genes provide the raw material, epigenetics determines how that material gets used in response to life experiences. And the fascinating part? Some of these epigenetic changes can be passed down to future generations.

To make it even simpler, think of it like this. Your DNA, your genes, are like the hardware of your body. But your experiences? They’re like software updates. And trauma? Well, it can actually change how some of those updates get installed.

Basically, when someone goes through extreme stress—war, abuse, neglect—it can leave marks on their genes, and those marks can get passed down. It’s like your body going, “Hey, life’s rough. Let’s stay on high alert just in case.”

Robert Sapolsky explains it like this: If a kid grows up in a chaotic, unpredictable environment, their brain rewires itself for survival. Stress hormones stay high, the nervous system stays on edge, and boom—you’ve got a body and brain that expect danger, even when there isn’t any.

And if we want to break it down even further—early experiences in childhood are the ones that shape the way your nervous system wires itself. A childhood filled with unpredictability or neglect can leave the amygdala—your brain’s fear centre—on high alert, while suppressing the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for rational thought and emotional regulation.

And the kicker? This isn’t just about you. Your parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents—if they lived through something extreme, that stress response might have been passed right down the line. This means that if trauma isn’t addressed, it doesn’t just live in memory—it embeds itself in the body’s stress response. And when it does, it doesn’t need to be remembered to be repeated.

Part 2: The Emotional Side

Now, neuroscience is great and all, but let’s see the other aspect of this question—because this isn’t just about genes and epigenetics. It’s also about the way we’re raised.

Gabor Mate says trauma isn’t just about what happened to you; it’s about what didn’t happen—like the love, safety, or validation you didn’t get.

Let’s say your parents went through some serious struggles. Maybe they weren’t emotionally available; maybe they had their own trauma, and they passed down those same patterns to you—not because they wanted to, but because they never knew any different.

And that’s how this cycle keeps going. No one sits down and says, “Hey, let me pass my unresolved issues onto my kid.” It just happens because pain that isn’t healed gets repeated.

When a mother, for example, is struggling with her own unresolved trauma, she is unable to emotionally attune to her child, and then that child learns that emotions aren’t safe. This becomes a generational script—a silent inheritance that teaches suppression, disconnection, and cycles of dysfunction.

Part 3: How We Break the Cycle

And so here’s the big question:… what do we do about it?

The first step is to take responsibility and own it. Not in a “it’s your fault” kind of way, but in a you have the power to change this kind of way. It starts with recognising the patterns. It starts with articulating your past—understanding what shaped you so you can reshape yourself.

Carl Jung said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” Basically—if you don’t become aware of the stuff that’s running in the background, it’ll keep running your life.

But here’s the key— to not judge yourself for the ways you’ve been affected, but to understand where they come from so you can start making different choices.

See our brain is always rewiring. Meaning, whatever patterns you inherited—whether it’s fear, anxiety, or emotional shut-down—you can reprogram them. It takes intention and therapy to break the old habits—because these things literally change your brain.

And most importantly, environment matters. You can’t just think your way out of trauma. And especially intergenerational trauma. You have to change your surroundings, the people you interact with, and the way you respond to stress.

So yeah—trauma can be passed down. But so can healing. You’re not just a product of your past. You’re the beginning of something new.

And if this hit home for you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. And always remember to ask, “What is that within me that makes me do, the things I do”.